Negotiating a Raise — and a Better Life | Chris Voss | EP 425

Dr. Jordan Peterson speaks with author, teacher, and prior hostage negotiator Chris Voss. They discuss the necessity of prioritizing needs and wants, how to navigate the job market to fit your best potential, how and why to go after a raise, the primacy of invitational collaboration over compelled, and how Voss succeeded in many real-world hostage negotiations.

Chris Voss has served as the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the hostage negotiation representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group, and the lead Crisis Negotiator for the NYC division of the FBI. Chris was a member of the New York City Joint Terrorist Task Force for 14 years, a recipient of the Attorney General’s Award for Excellence in Law Enforcement, and the FBI Agents Association Award for Distinguished and Exemplary Service. Chris has taught business negotiation courses at the University of Southern California, Georgetown University, and Harvard University. He has also guest lectured at Northwestern University and at schools abroad. Currently, Chris works with Insite Security as their Managing Director of the Kidnapping Resolution Practice.

This episode was filmed on January 12th, 2024

Dr. Peterson’s extensive catalog is available now on DailyWire+: https://bit.ly/3KrWbS8

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– Links –

2024 tour details can be found here https://jordanbpeterson.com/events

Peterson Academy https://petersonacademy.com/

For Chris Voss:

On Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thefbinegotiator/?hl=en

On X https://twitter.com/fbinegotiator?lang=en

Sign up for Chris Voss’s Newsletter https://www.blackswanltd.com/no-oriented-questions

“Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” (book) https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended/dp/0062407805

Learn to negotiate with the Black Swan Group https://www.blackswanltd.com/

– Chapters –

(0:00) Tour update 2024
(0:41) Coming up
(1:15) Intro
(2:44) What it really means to negotiate
(5:58) How to set yourself up for success in negotiating a raise
(11:42) Don’t take yourself hostage, adopting a success-oriented mindset
(14:01) Both sides should leave excited for their continued relationship
(17:04) Chris Voss’ favorite “calibrated question” for job interviews
(21:00) Hope and opportunity require two things
(24:28) When you ask a question, really mean it: “You gotta want to be diamond”
(29:23) First impressions are lasting
(31:40) What it means to really listen rather than just “staying silent”
(35:18) Why people bully and micromanage — and why you shouldn’t
(38:57) The “Black Swan Technique”
(42:10) Navigating a hostage situation, applying this to the workplace
(47:24) Tools for productive work relationships and common ground
(53:02) Don’t deal with people who are “half”
(54:27) Work somewhere that aligns with your core values
(55:50) You can’t fix a bad employer or a bad employee
(58:22) When to sever a bad relationship
(1:00:31) You should be able to summarize what the other person has said
(1:02:33) Conflict deferred is conflict multiplied
(1:05:48) The power of “what” and “how” questions
(1:09:29) Acknowledging fear and obstacles
(1:12:09) Carl Rogers, the mirroring technique
(1:13:41) What drives adverse reactions and how to right the conversational ship
(1:16:29) De-escalating a hostage situation during a bank robbery
(1:24:02) Balancing truth and deception
(1:29:31) Never split the difference

// LINKS //
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Understand Myself (personality test): https://understandmyself.com

// BOOKS //
Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life: https://jordanbpeterson.com/Beyond-Order
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: https://jordanbpeterson.com/12-rules-for-life
Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief: https://jordanbpeterson.com/maps-of-meaning

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